As I reflect on my grief, I realize that my father's passing was not only a loss, but also a transition.

Making Sense of a Loss

Rabat — I must confess, losing a loved one is hard, but when that loved one is also a parent, it is profoundly hard. Parents come in various shapes and forms; this one was a one-of-a-kind treasure.

My father passed away recently. He had been struggling with various health issues during his golden years and was living uncomfortably; that much I cannot deny.

I knew his time was limited, and I figured I would be ready; then, he departed!

As the news sank in, I was consumed by a mix of emotions – shock, anger, denial, and vulnerability. I felt numb, insecure, and overwhelmed.

Good lord, I am nowhere near ready! Could I ever have been ready? No way, this is a life-altering event!

But as I reflect on my grief, I realize that my father’s passing was not only a loss, but also a transition. I found solace in two thoughts: firstly, that it was selfish of me to want him to stay when his life had become uncomfortable, if not painful, as many consolers reminded me; and secondly, that I needed to honor his memory by carrying on with my life as he would have wanted me to live. I imagined him rubbing my head and saying, “I’m doing just fine, and I am still with you. Let’s navigate your life’s journey together.”

So, with no further ado, here is a dedication in loving memory of my late beloved father, Haj Ahmed:

Forgive me, Papa

I don’t know how to begin;
I don’t know where to begin.

Pain from break-ups is the worst,

Or so many claim,
I’ve been there, and they are wrong, wrong,
Losing you shook me to my core, and I am strong, strong,

Forgive me, Papa!

I will no longer see your beautiful face
As it lights up upon my sight,
With that smile that washes all my worries away,

And warms my soul however burdened it may be,

Forgive me, Papa!

Heavy is the heart these days,
With unannounced tears sneaking up on me often,

I know they won’t bring you back,

So, I will work not to dwell,

Forgive me, Papa!