Some battles are fought with swords, others with a simple look across the dinner table.
Fez – Getting married in Morocco is not just about love. It’s about family. And in every Moroccan family, one woman holds the crown: the mother-in-law.
She doesn’t need to say much. One look, one sigh, one raised eyebrow, and you know exactly where you stand.
If you’re a new bride, welcome to the game. Here are the unwritten rules.
You can never win the cooking battle
Your “harira” (traditional Moroccan tomato soup) will never be thick enough. Your couscous will always be missing something.
Even if you follow her recipe, somehow, hers will taste better. Why? Because her hands are blessed, and yours are still “learning.”
Smile, nod, and let her have this victory.
Compliments are a trap
If she tells you, “You’ve gained some weight, it looks good on you,” don’t relax.
She’s watching how much “rfissa” (chicken, lentils and flatbread dish) you put on your plate. If she says, “Your hair looks nice like this,” it means she didn’t like yesterday’s style.
The safest answer? Just laugh and change the subject.
The tea test
Making Moroccan tea is an art. If she asks you to make it, be careful. If it’s too sweet, you’ll hear, “You like too much sugar.”
If it’s not sweet enough, “This tastes like water.”
Best trick? Let her do it and compliment her skills.
Her son is still her baby
You might have married a grown man, but in her eyes, he’s still the boy who needed his socks put on for him.
If he sneezes, she’ll blame you for not dressing him properly.
If he’s hungry, you must have forgotten to feed him. Just let her fuss over him. It makes her happy.
The ‘I’m not meddling’ strategy
She will never say she’s interfering. She’ll just give “advice.”
Or, maybe she’ll casually mention that her friend’s daughter keeps her house spotless.
Or that in her day, wives woke up before sunrise. It’s not a direct order, but you’ll feel the pressure.
The family ranking system
There are levels in the mother-in-law’s heart.
The daughter who visits most often? Gold medal.
The one who calls first on Eid? Silver. The one who buys her thoughtful gifts? Bronze.
Be smart, small gestures go a long way.
Winning her heart
At the end of the day, she’s not your enemy. If you respect her, show her love, and make her feel important, she will defend you like a lioness.
Bring her “chebakia” (a sweet sesame treat) during Ramadan. Ask for her opinion, even if you don’t need it.
Let her be the queen she believes she is.
Moroccan mother-in-law politics can be tricky, but once you understand the game, you’ll survive just fine.
Maybe one day, you’ll be the mother-in-law with the raised eyebrow – and the subtle power that comes with it.
Read also: A Sunday Night Moroccan Feast
