In the tradition of “Tefkida”, love was expressed through thoughtful gifts, long before vows were exchanged.”
Fez – The “Tefkida” tradition carries a deep meaning in Morocco, projecting remembrance and thoughtful affection. It’s a way of letting someone know they are not forgotten, that they are still in one’s thoughts, even when the passage of time may suggest otherwise.
In the old Moroccan traditions that are slowly fading away, “Tefkida” was an integral part of life, particularly before a key moment such as marriage, a solemn bond in Islam.
As a sacred covenant between a man and woman, Marriage is considered one of the most important pillars in life.
In Moroccan culture, marriage holds not just a spiritual significance but also a social one, believed to create balance, stability, and peace.
This is why Moroccans often urge young men to marry in order to “complete their faith.”
Before weddings could take place, “Tefkida” was a customary act, a vital prelude to this monumental event.
Historically, “Tefkida” took place during the engagement period, which is essentially a promise of marriage.
During this time, the future groom would send gifts to his bride-to-be through a mediator, typically the groom’s mother or a respected elder.
Read also: The Royal Ritual of Orange Blossom Water
This practice was in line with Islamic law, which restricts the engagement couple from meeting freely before the wedding contract is signed, requiring certain decorum and respect for boundaries.
These gifts were often timed to coincide with holidays or religious celebrations. For instance, during Eid al-Adha, the groom would “Tefked” (remember) his fiancee with a beautiful ram, its horns sharp and sleek, as a sign of respect and love.
On the occasion of Ashura, “Tefkida” might include gifts such as traditional dried fruits (known as “fakia”) or “tkashat” (traditional garments), which were then delivered by the mediator.
Interestingly, the gift given on Ashura was often referred to by an old, special name: “Ta’ashourt Loula” (the first Ashura).
The tradition continued during other major celebrations such as Eid al-Fitr or the Prophet’s birthday. The groom would offer his bride-to-be traditional clothing, like “tkashat” or “caftans,” and dishes that were a staple during the season, such as couscous with dried meat during Ashura.
Even during Ramadan, the tradition persisted with gifts like “trid” (a dish with bread and meat), enjoyed on the eve of Laylat al-Qadr.
How charming and meaningful were the people of the past, with their customs and values?
Their dedication to family and faith is something that we could all draw inspiration from in today’s fast-paced world.
The tradition of “Tefkida” reminds us of the timeless beauty of thoughtful, deliberate acts of love.
