Marrakech – When I was 20, I thought “adulting” was paying rent on time and buying actual matching towels. 

I didn’t know it also meant juggling heartbreak and health insurance, redefining success every six months, and trying not to cry when your washing machine eats your favorite silk blouse.

Now I’m older — not ancient, but old enough to look back — and lately, I’ve started wondering: How do you know you’re growing in the right direction? 

When life starts adding layers (career, traumas, aging parents, taxes, breakups that feel like divorces), how do you evolve without morphing into someone you don’t even recognize?

You know you’re changing for the good when you disappoint people — gently (or not)

That might sound harsh, but hear me out. Growth means not always saying “yes.” 

It’s skipping the party because you actually need sleep (though I’m not really a pro lol.) It’s turning down a project because you’re already overcommitted. It’s standing up for yourself softly but firmly — “I can’t do that, but I hope you find someone who can.”

You don’t need to announce your boundaries on Instagram. Just hold them.

Tip: Practice graceful decline. “Thank you so much for thinking of me! But I’ll have to pass this time.” That’s it. No drama, no guilt spiral.

Adulting means making the boring choices — and actually liking them

I have only realized this recently. BUT hear me out.

You know what’s wild? Grocery shopping on a Sunday with a list. Knowing your credit score. Booking your own therapist appointment. These things feel impossibly mundane, but they’re also anchors.

Stability isn’t boring — it’s freedom in disguise (I learned this the hard way, so you better trust me.)

Romanticize the errands. Put on a cute outfit to go to the bank. Blast your power playlist while vacuuming. Light a candle when you budget. Make the mundane arcane.

You’re still you if you don’t let the hustle swallow your spark

Work can fill your calendar and empty your spirit if you’re not careful. When your whole identity becomes “productive,” you lose the poetry of just being.

Keep something just for you. A hobby. A guilty pleasure. A weird little ritual that has no ROI except joy.

Block off time each week for something that won’t make you money, but will make you feel alive. For me, it’s checking Pinterest and saving outfits for my fashion project (You better buy them when they’re out.) 

You know you’re growing when you stop needing the last word

Whether it’s an ex, a toxic boss, or that family member who keeps asking for money — at some point, being right stops feeling as good as being free.

Let them win the argument. You’re winning the life. Let them think they won. You’re too busy building something beautiful.

 But don’t lose the weird, sparkly parts

Wear the loud earrings. Dance sexy at weddings. Laugh too loud. Ask the “dumb” question. Flirt shamelessly with your cat who secretly hates you.

Life gets heavy, but you don’t have to carry it all in silence.

You can be practical without being cynical

Cynicism feels like a chic trench coat — it goes with everything, it makes you look “cool,” and everyone your age seems to own one. But you know what’s harder, and sexier?

Hope (not my cat.) Optimism. Dreaming when you’ve been disappointed.

Balance the budgets (and let me know how it goes, I could use the tips and tricks,) — but still believe in magic.

Do I really sound like a grown up? Or is it just me?

You’re not meant to be the same person at 30 that you were at 20. Growth isn’t betrayal. 

But if you start becoming someone you don’t recognize — someone dimmer, more bitter, less you — that’s your sign to reroute.

You don’t have to choose between being practical and staying passionate. You just have to keep showing up for yourself, even when life hands you a week full of emails, bills, and existential crises.

Because yes, we all wished to be grown-ups and now we regret it. But guess what? In your twenties, you’re just a baby adult. And yes I’m a 6 years old adult.