Rabat – We often hear comforting phrases like “don’t be sad,” “stay strong,” or “nothing deserves your tears.” They’re said with good intentions, meant to uplift.
Social media echoes the same energy — a flood of hashtags like #PositiveVibesOnly and endless motivational quotes urging us to smile through the pain.
At first glance, it all sounds helpful; who doesn’t want to be surrounded by optimism? But here’s the catch: sometimes, this kind of positivity can do more harm than good.
How can something as bright as positivity turn toxic?
Think about the last time you tried to open up to someone, and all you got in return was, “don’t be sad,” or “you’ll get over it.” It doesn’t feel good, does it? You just wanted to be heard, not told to silence your emotions.
That’s what we call toxic positivity — when “good vibes” are forced to the point that they invalidate what we truly feel. It’s pretending to be fine when you’re falling apart. It’s smiling when you want to cry, talking when you want to stay quiet, pretending you’re strong when you’re actually tired.
In those moments, positivity stops being comforting — it becomes heavy. A mask you wear because you think you should.
Social media makes it worse. Everyone seems happy, successful, at peace. But here’s the thing: that perfect, almost utopic picture we see online is only the tip of the iceberg. Once the cameras are off, people go back to their own chaos, doubts, and pain. It’s not to say their happiness is fake, but to remind us that they, too, go through heavy times. Nobody is happy all the time. We all get our share of laughter, and our share of tears.
Feeling optimistic when things go well is natural, and so is feeling sad when life gets hard. Both are part of being human.
It doesn’t make sense to ask someone to fake a smile after hearing bad news or to act fine when they’re clearly struggling.
So, maybe we should stop rushing to “cheer people up” and start listening instead. Let the feel, cry, and process — because sometimes, allowing ourselves to feel the negativity is the first step toward healing.
